The sweetestplace for kids isthe bosom of their moms

The sweetestplace for kids isthe bosom of their moms
01/07/2017 NANU BEDTIME
In Nanu

One of the biggest problems families face is the resistance of their kids to sleep in their own rooms and beds.

Although this is deemed as a sleeping problem for children, it is in fact the family’s problem. When the child sleeps in the same bed with one of the parents, either the mother or the fathersleeps elsewhere.

Usually parents believe that the source of this problem is the child’s fears. In fact, it is something that families inherently prefer. Mother misses her child, parents feel bad about not being ableto spend enough time with the child during the day, or they have concerns for the child and so the child reflects all these feelings like a mirror. As a result, the child would not want to go to the bed alone. He/she wakes up several timesduring the night and walks to her parents’ room. Families that allowtheir child to stay with them in their beds, instead of taking him/her back to his/her own bedonly make the problem worse.

When the child is decisively told to go back and sleep in his/her own room will eventually sleep without any problems.Parents should refrain from getting in to the bed of the child just to ease the problem. It is okay to sit by the side of the bed, and talk softly or tell bedtime stories.

The family is both the source and solution to this problem. If the child is taken back to her bed every time afterhe/she wakes up in the middle of the night would give up this habit in time.

Every child should be sleeping alone in his/her own room from 6th month on. The mother’s continuous breastfeeding, sleeplessness and exhaustion cause her to prefer to keep the child with her in the parents’ bed. However, from 6th month on, the baby could develop a normal sleep pattern- unless he/she is sick.

The baby’s sleep problems aremostly caused by the tension and fears of the mother. Therefore, the mother should be able free from her tension and get enough rest. To this end, making the child develop the habit of sleeping alone in his/her own room before the age of 1 has critical importance.

The child could sleep in a cradle in her parents’ room due to space or other physical limitations. But he/she should never let to sleep in the mother’s bosom. Babies who are not raised by abiding this principle, grow to be psychologically dependent, lack self-confidence and may not complete their psychological development. As a result, they grow to be shy in social environments, feel unhappy most of the time, or have difficulty in expressing themselves.

Çiğdem Nemlioğlu
Psychologist

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